Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth????

Some people can communicate their thoughts, feelings, and needs effortlessly and without offense.  Others, can be hard-headed, quick-tongued, and impatient when trying to communicate.  I am sure there are a few other forms of communication personalities out there but this is about….the second one!!!

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I get over-emotional, frustrated or hot-tempered when trying to communicate any form of weakness or insecurity I may have.  If there is a problem, I wear my feelings on my sleeve (good or bad).  I am not good at hiding what is really going on, it shows all over my face and in my actions.  If I feel like I am trying to explain my feelings and the other person is interrupting, or down-playing my feelings, I prefer to shut down.  I don’t like continuing when I know it will lead to MORE miscommunication, exaggerated sarcasm, and basically, no resolution.  You know…those conversations when you KNOW it is going to end in a fight, you know that is is heading down the wrong path, and you know there is going to be no solution!

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My way of dealing with people can be pretty ineffective when I cannot communicate the way I want.  It is very hard for me to listen and not be able to say what I want in response.  When dealing with a person who does not actively listen (just interrupts and down-plays), I tend to do one of two things.  One: I call them out for it, get sarcastic, get angry, and then give the “whatever, I am done” line before shutting down….

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Or two- I feel bullied, targeted and then I start crying.  This is when I basically feel like I am being called a failure (even if that is not what is being said), or being told I am not good enough in one way or another.  These times bring up insecurities and tend to just hit me right in the emotional socket!  I find it hard to say anything and then just pretty much sit there as if taking a free beating (easy target).  The conversation ends with me feeling low, beat-down, and very insecure.  I am left emotionally drained.

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There have been a lot of (mis)communication conversations taking place in my life lately, and let’s just say I have been feeling like a bit of a beating bag.  I am really feeling like anything I say is being judged, disregarded, and considered irrelevant.  I am needing to dig in to find that inner spit-fire who stands up for herself- not with anger or harsh words, but with confidence in my ability to get my thoughts across and know that they matter.  It is a hard road to walk down when trying to communicate with others who are very similar to you; however, taking a step back and really knowing what you want to achieve with the conversation, can help you stay on track.  After taking a breather and refreshing my communication skills library, I am ready to tackle a touchy subject, keep my composure and add a NEW, more effective, communication personality to my list!  If you want change, you have to first change something within yourself!

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What is your communication personality?  How do you handle difficult conversations or subjects?  What do you do when you do to overcome an emotional beat down?

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One response to “Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth????

  1. ah im so sorry you feeling a bit down because of this! i usually hide things and try to take care of them myself, but it doesn’t always work too well.. I feel like if I open up about an issue, I’m letting too many people in and theyll judge me… its such a tough situation!.. but I usually just suck it up and put on my game face.. and conquer those emotions!

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