Well, that was fun! Not really, but I am trying to keep that positive attitude about the whole thing…that goal went out the window for about 30 minutes after the procedure! The Hub had to put me in check for a minute, and so now I can move on from being a Negative Nancy about the results.
I got to the hospital and there was a 35 minute wait because all of the ‘waiting beds’ were full. I stayed in the other waiting room and curled up on the coach in between bathroom visits. When I went back to the waiting beds I was happy to get a pretty cool newbie taking care of me! I got a blanket right out of the heater and some good conversation about Germany (he was raised there). I also met another fella who was in for the same thing so we lamented about the delicious GoLYTELY drink that we had to choke back. This poor guy was having more issues than I could imagine, so I admit I was comparing… in the sense that I was grateful I didn’t have to deal with the personal issues he had. Before I could compare TOO much I got the call that my turn was up, YEE HAW!!!
I mentioned the whole ‘take a biopsy for celiac testing’ request, but it turns out you can only get a biopsy from your upper GI, not lower. That will need to be another procedure (will be doing that ASAP when we arrive in Germany). I was hit up with some drugs, told to lay on my side, got my oxygen tube up the nose and then just tried to relax. I slept through the whole thing and it was peaceful…okay, that is a lie. I was stoned but felt everything. I could hear myself groaning and asking for drugs, but didn’t realize I was even talking. I may have said that it felt like the tube was going to come out of my stomach because of the pressure. I may have also said that I felt like a hand was stirring my guts around…I lack a filter on my best days, so I guess this was a filter free moment! Now you see why I don’t drink 😉
Afterwards, I got a little more somber. This is going to sound crazy and irrational, but understand that this has been an issue for 10 years with no resolution. I was told all was clear and normal….I broke down crying. It felt like I was being told, “well, sucks to be you…just keep on keeping on and have fun with that rotten gut”. I was trying to listen to the nurse talking, but those silent little tears just kept ‘a comin’…the drugs may have made it harder to control them. This was when I needed the slap of reality from the Hub. Rather than sit there crying about the fact that I have an apparently healthy colon, I should be grateful that I have a healthy colon. Next step is to see what else I can do to help myself and then take the next step once we hit Germany. I pouted, gave the stank eye a l’il bit and then do like all brats do….I waited and called my dad, so I could tattle on my colon.
I need TWO slaps of reality from my two toughest guys. Yes, I am that sensitive AND hard-headed. My dad told me some more foods to avoid, said “heck yeah, go for it” to the gluten-free idea, and then told me to pull up my knickers and wait it out. Thank God for these men, I would have a harder time accepting what I don’t want if it weren’t for them! So I just gotta hang on and show my colon some love with an easy clean gluten-free lifestyle so my guts can relax…
In the meantime, I have my Amazon cart all loaded with gluten-free oats, extra chia seeds, muscle milk protein drinks, gluten-free flour, gluten-free chocolate chips and coconut flour. I am going light on grains for a few days to give my guts a bit of recovery and then will see how I make out! So there you have it, I survived my first (and I hope, only) colonoscopy, I whined a bit but have come around, and have decided to really be pro-active rather than pro-attitude 😉 Thanks for not being grossed out and for being a part of this whole experience….like we say, it is a journey!
How do you show your guts love?