It is all about image….but should it be?

Sticking with my fellow health bloggers, I am going to tackle a post about something very significant in ALL women’s lives….our self-image (good or bad)!

Can you say this and MEAN it???

I have (and still do) suffered from a bad case of self-esteem, confidence and negative self-image.  I am pretty sure I don’t see what others see, and this used to get confused with me being narcissistic.  I would look in the mirror and pick myself apart, family members would see me and think I was just admiring myself…..so far from the truth.  As a young child I was always with a runny nose, and fly away hair.  My sister was cute as ever!!

Me and my sister at her birthday (3rd, maybe?)

My nickname when I was little was “Bubble Head” (was told my head was full of bubbles instead of brains) or “Bucky Beaver” (buck teeth…never had braces, though).

This was me growing out a 'bowl cut' and ended up with a mullet....nice!

I vowed to ‘pretty up’ and try to overcome the stigma I had already attached to myself.  I felt like an ugly duckling who was not growing into a swan.  The teeth, the hair, the big nose, the flat chest (which then went in the opposite direction of being ‘too’ big).  I remember asking my mother and sister if they could see their feet when they looked down (I was in 9th grade), they laughed and said ‘no’…I replied, “I can see my ankles” 😉  To try to get ‘pretty’, I did what every 12-year-old girl did in 1991…I got a perm….which then turned into “mall bangs” as I turned 13…

After my 12th birthday...

...one year later....not so much 'bucky' as 'fangy'..

It was an ongoing ordeal to try to fit in, to try to appear confident and peppy, and to try to feel pretty.  It only takes one comment to start these insecurities and self-loathing in a young girl.  It takes a lifetime to undo it!  If only we could be changed with one simple phrase, compliment, or reminder! 

source

Even though I went through phases of feeling good and then not feeling good about myself, the worst this ever hit me was during my pregnancies…how sad!  It started by being told I was gaining too much weight…this made me feel fat, and then I started worrying that people would think I was huge.  There was no moment of just really savouring the miracle of what my body was GIVING me!  I had both of my babies 4 weeks early because they were too big for me…(turns out I was not too big, after all).  James was 8 pds .05 oz and Gavin was 7 pds 6 oz….again, I remind you, they were 4 weeks early!!!

Right before giving birth to James

Me pregnant with Gavin...I was 31 weeks measuring at 38 weeks!

Why could I not just feel beautiful…it all goes back to what you hear and what you believe about yourself.   I still see the pregnant girl, the stretch marks, the belly jiggles when I look in the mirror, but the time to change is NOW!!!  I am working on it, I am still struggling, I am still trying to focus on the pros rather than the cons.  I know it will be a lifelong journey, but I  know the view along the way will be beautiful 😉   I am a mommy of two boys (the second being an absolute miracle after much difficulty)!  They see me as strong, loving, caring, and dependable: mom.  That is an amazing gift!

Christmas this past year...right before the start of my journey!

My husband sees me as a beautiful, spunky, determined and absolute proud wife!  He tires of telling me this and think I don’t care about his comments (or rather, he thinks other’s comments have more importance), but the truth is: his opinion matters, because it is what helps me aspire to think the same way!

My 'feel beautiful' guru 😉

All I know is that I am worth the work to be sure I know I am a gorgeous gal!  I want to show my boys a confident woman, so they know what to look for in their future ladies!  I want my husband to have a wife that feels as hot as thinks she looks…so pretty, super hot 😉  I will run through those shin splints, because it makes me feel strong!  I will cook healthful, yummy eats, because it shows I am serious about how I take care of my body.  I will work on getting a strong and confident sense of self, because I deserve it!

Run to conquer your fears and doubts, not to run away from them!

How will you make yourself more confident today?

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8 responses to “It is all about image….but should it be?

  1. God bless you on your journey. God created you and He stood back and said “She is good.” No more negative self-talk girl!!
    Kathleen

  2. Amen hot momma! If I look THAT good preggo i will dieee of happiness!!!
    XOXOOX
    S

    • Ha ha!! Let me tell you, I wish I could have felt that way. Looking now, I really think I was looking healthy and happy. I am glad I see it differently now, but it still would have been a true gift to have seen it then! By the way, you are going to be HOT when you are preggo….I cannot wait to read the way your restaurant reviews will change with those pregnancy cravings 😉

  3. Girl, great post! You are a fantastic, hot momma!! I’ve only known you for a few weeks and you have so many great qualities!! I’m glad to be a small part of your journey.

  4. That’s the hottest pregnancy pic I’ve ever seen! 🙂 I felt confident & sexy today at lunch – my fiance took me out for a lunch date (so rare since we work across town from each other) and we made out in the parking lot =) TGIF!

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